I have decided in the past few days that I am going to create a new currency.  It is going to be called “Ian Bucks”, or just “IB” for short.  If you are interested in purchasing some IBs please write below in the comments and I will contact you about it.

Here is how it will work.  Initially, 1 IB will equal $1 USD.  I have created an elaborate scheme to make more IBs, with 1 IB produced every 10 minutes.  Unless at some point I change my mind and make more.

I am calling the process of making IBs “mining” because that is how gold is made.  If you want a mining permit please call me and I will send you a floppy disk with instructions.

If you wish to purchase IBs you will have to give me US dollars and I will issue you IBs.

There are currently no merchants that accept IBs.  This is a speed bump and it will be fixed over time.

If you wish to redeem IBs with me, I reserve the right to give you Bitcoin in return.  This as a win-win because Bitcoins only go up over time.  In the event Flooz comes back I also reserve the right to give you Flooz as well.  There is no guarantee that Flooz will come back and I have no knowledge of Whoopi Goldberg’s future involvement.

I am planning to create an exchange for the trading of IBs.  Unfortunately, “Magic the Gathering: Online Exchange” is already taken by Bitcoin (aka Mt. GoX), so I am thinking of other cool MTG names like “MTG: Shivan Dragon Exchange” (aka Mt. GSDX)

 OR……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“MTG: Mahamoti Djinn Exchange” (aka Mt. GMDX):

OR……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I just can’t decide.  A lot of people play Magic the Gathering so this will definitely go viral.

I promise to write some software so IBs become hard to counterfeit.  I am not particularly good at writing software but I know people who can do this for me.

I have a detailed marketing plan to help get support of IBs.  My car has been wrapped with the IB logo and I purchased a super bowl ad in February.  I might also use sponsored posts on Twitter because I got a free allocation.

You may be thinking to yourself, “Why would anyone want IBs??”  I was wondering the same thing, so I came up with a couple use cases:

1.) Buying drugs.

2.) Evading sales tax.

3.) Funding Al-Qaeda.

4.) Speculation.

5.) Getting money out of China.

6.) Getting money into China.

7.) General money laundering.

There are many more uses. Some of them are even legitimate.

I have not raised outside money for IBs yet.  I plan to keep it closely held.  If, however, you know any VCs I would be happy to meet with them because this is a big idea.

NOTE: This article is a work of satire.